How to support your child through grief and loss

Did you know that children grieve differently than adults? This can make it challenging to know how to best support them during a loss. To help, we’re sharing tips on creating a safe and supportive space for your child to move through grief and heal.

Remember, your presence and understanding are the most valuable gifts you can offer during this difficult time. If you’re new to our blog, don’t forget to learn more about us and what we do to take care of you and your family!

 

What Does Grief Look Like to Children?

Children experience grief through a variety of losses, including the death of a loved one, a family pet, losing a beloved toy, or even a friend moving away. It’s important to remember that grief manifests differently in children compared to adults.

As much as grief can take different forms at all ages, children each have their unique way of expressing their feelings.

Here are some common ways children express grief:

• Emotional Signs: Sadness and anger are normal reactions to loss. Even a seemingly small loss, like a favourite toy or a pet, can feel significant to a child.
• Physical Signs: Grief can also manifest physically. Some children may experience difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or a decline in school performance, leading to a lack of confidence. They become more attached to a family member or parent. Others may experience headaches,tiredness, lack of energy, or even hyperactivity. Observing your child’s behaviour following a loss can help you identify how they are grieving.

 

How to Support Them in the Very Best Way

Offering support can take many forms, yet  it does not mean all ways are effective. Let your child know you’re there for them and talk about their feelings and emotions to help them move through grief. Even if you don’t have all the answers, reassure them that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused.

• Active Listening: Create a safe space for your child to express their feelings, whether it’s through talking, playing,or creative activities like drawing or writing.
• Quality Time: Spend extra time together doing things your child enjoys. This shows them you care and helps maintain a sense of normalcy.
• Observe Their Behaviour: Pay attention to changes in your child’s behaviour, such as difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, or withdrawal from activities.
• School Communication: If your child’s grief is affecting their schoolwork, inform their teacher. Collaboration can help provide support and understanding at school.

Remember, professional help can be valuable, especially if your child is struggling to cope with their loss.

MyBio.life has additional resources, including a blog post on how to talk to children about grief, which you may find helpful!

Encouraging a Child to express his feelings

When supporting a child through grief, encouraging them to express their feelings is crucial. It all comes down to creating a safe space where they feel heard and understood.

A few things you may want to consider include:

• Being Present and Available. Make eye contact,listen actively, and avoid distractions when they want to talk.
• Validate Their Emotions: Avoid minimising or dismissing their feelings. Phrases like “It’s okay to feel sad” or “I understand you’re angry” can be helpful.
• Offer Different Ways to Express: Some children might not be comfortable talking openly. Offer creative outlets like drawing, writing, playing music, or using toys to express themselves.
• Lead by Example: Talk openly about your own feelings in an age-appropriate way. Show your child that it’s okay to be sad, frustrated, or confused.
• Be Patient: Grief is a process. It may take time for your child to feel comfortable expressing their emotions. Don’t force them to talk before they’re ready.
• Maintain Normalcy: While acknowledging their grief, try to maintain routines and familiar activities. This can provide a sense of comfort and stability.

When Should you Seek Professional Help?

While no parent wants to see their child sad, it’s important to remember that grief takes time to heal. It may be important to seek professional help from a therapist or counsellor specialising in childhood grief if your child’s sadness seems to be interfering with their daily life for an extended period.

Signs that might indicate your child needs additional support include persistent sadness, hopelessness, or withdrawal from activities they once enjoyed. These could be early signs of depression. Other potential signs include changes in social behaviour, such as avoiding friends and family, or significant changes in appetite or sleep patterns.

Remember, you are not alone in supporting your child through this difficult time. There are professionals available to provide additional guidance and support.

Books and Resources to Help

Not every child is comfortable talking openly about their feelings. A great way to open conversations and provide comfort is to read them books or have them read themselves if they’re old enough. Luckily, there are many resources available to help you!

• The Invisible String by Patrice Karst: This story uses the metaphor of an invisible string to reassure children that they are always connected to loved ones, even in their absence.
• The Goodbye Book by Todd Parr: This colourful and simple book explores different emotions associated with loss and goodbyes.
• Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson: This award-winning novel explores themes of friendship, loss, and coping with grief through the eyes of fifth-graders.

There are many wonderful children’s books that deal with grief and loss.Consider your child’s age, interests, and the specific type of loss they are experiencing when choosing a book.